Lyrics of songs from PEACE IN PROGRESS

I used to believe that conflicting internal commentary, misunderstandings in our homes and communities, and wars of all kinds obstructed peace, until I realized that navigating this terrain is part of our collective peace in progress. This album is a piece in progress—the moments of imperfection are healing when embraced, reflecting my own peace in progress.
Please click on a song title to view the lyrics:

1. Collage #1
2. Shyam Rao-chi Mulgee
3. Imaginary Train
4. Clumsy
5. What I Want To Know
6. Peace in Progress
7. Naach Re Mora
8. Something in Your Voice
9. Where the Ocean Greets the Sky
10. Willows
11. Love Sheets

Lyrics of other songs

   Hidden
   Remember This Day
   Sorrow
   Speak Memory Speak
 

1. Collage #1

Manisha Shahane (voice)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Prasanna (guitars)
Mother Nature (afternoon rain, 9/23/03)

Nearly two years ago for my birthday, Anant Bhave gave me a couple of books he had recently published in India, comprised of poetry he had written in Marathi for children. (Marathi is the language of my childhood.) In addition to being one of my father’s dearest friends from childhood, Bhave Kaka, now a retired professor, has numerous credits to his name, including formerly anchoring the Marathi news on Doordarshan. A few months after he gave me the books, I came across an illustration that caught my eye as I was flipping through Haso, Haso (Laugh, Laugh), 2nd edition, 2001. It was of a girl dancing with a peacock feather in her hair; beside her was a monkey playing tabla. The poem was titled Paavsaa, Paavsaa (Rain, Rain). The combination of the dancing girl, the peacock feather, and the poem about rain reminded me of the children’s song Naach Re Mora, in which a peacock dances in a mango grove in the rain. When I was 13 or so, I taught a group of third grade American girls, including my younger sister, a (Kathak-based) dance to Naach Re Mora; during their performance, the girls also sang the song as they danced. Since Jerry Leake often accompanies me on tabla and Blake Newman on bass, I came up with a bass line in varied meters to accompany me as I combined the refrain from Naach Re Mora with the poem Paavsaa, Paavsaa for a short piece, now titled Collage #1.

2. Shyam Rao-chi Mulgee (The Daughter of Shyam Rao)

Manisha Shahane (voice/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Kevin Barry (guitars)
Raj Banerjee (guitar)
Dominique Gagne (flute)

He whispered from the sidewalk where he slept; he said he knew my Daddy from way back when. . .“When I used to come and cook for your family,” he said. < “Are you the daughter of Shyam Rao? Will you come and speak with me?” Yes, I’m coming. Yes, I’m coming.>

He wore stubble on his cheeks and had wrinkles to spare. He asked me whether I liked living here or there, “Maybe you’d like to come sit with me?” he suggested. <“Are you playing all by yourself? Why don’t you come and play with me?” Yes, I’m coming. Yes, I’m coming.>

He was an old man whom I was to respect. So to whatever he asked, I responded with yes. He must have thought I was a grown-up, because all my answers were correct. <“Now that you are all grown up, wipe the tears from your eyes dear and come with me.” Yes, I’m coming. Yes, I’m coming.>

3. Imaginary Train

3. Imaginary Train
Manisha Shahane (voice/piano/vibes)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Matthew Taylor (drums)
Daniel Cantor (vibe effects)

I dance upon the platform as I wait for the train to arrive. Minutes, hours, days, and nights have passed, but still I see no sign. The next train, they say, is to Imaginary Bay, which is eroding the west coast of Logic. So I wait for the imaginary train ride.

I feel what I want to feel while riding on this train; I feel I’m moving forward as in flight, while the trees remain still. I see what I want to see, but if I look twice . . . ? I hear what I want to hear, but it’s not the train whistle that crying.

I hum to myself, until I hear a voice. I turn my head and running down the tracks, I see a little boy. He shouts, “Please don’t stop singing, because I am singing, too. If we both sing loudly, the train will come soon.” So we wait for the imaginary train ride.

Imagine if you could ride a train to your troubles’ very end; imagine if you could ride a train that would take you back again to find the roots of where it all began.

4. Clumsy

Manisha Shahane (voice/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Daniel Cantor (drums)
Prasanna (guitar)
While you may not tell me lies about how you feel, your actions . . . they cannot deny that you are withholding information I could use to establish that your behavior’s an excuse for maintaining your disguise.
Days and nights bereft of warmth . . . still, it’s only fair to make a mention of the times when you let me in your dreams for every touch. And one, two, three . . . I counted twice: In your sleep you said those words which when you were awake were rendered meaningless.
Why do you laugh when you look at me? I’m only a little bit clumsy. And why do you raise your voice when you speak? I’m not hard of hearing. Why do you close your eyes when you dream? Are you afraid of what you could be living?
I wish your pencil were your hand, and I, the empty page on which you’d sketch your life in draft, but distance was the game we played, and so the tip of lead—it never touched the page.
Then you said you might have gone for her, but no, not then, for me. It was a day you said that was to be shared with only friends and family. Since you’ve heard the Introduction . . . and Chapters 1 and 2 and 3, now you want to hear me tell the story’s end, but my secrets aren’t for free.

5. What I Want To Know

Manisha Shahane (voice/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Matthew Taylor (drums)

I asked him had he loved before, but what I really wanted to know was: Could he love me? Why can’t he love me? He answered, “Yes, I have loved.” Then he told me a story of how he once had spent time with only one lady, but could she be me? Why can’t she be me?

As he talks, I keep on guessing. My ears are closed. I am not listening. Instead, I should be confessing that in my mind I am undressing his soul.

I step outside myself again to return to the discussion at hand, yet neither of us speaks. Why don’t we speak? During this moment of silence, his gaze is upon me. His movement is imperceptible as in Tai-chi. Where will this lead? Where will he lead me?

As he stares, my heart is racing. My eyes are closed. I cannot bear looking. As he draws near, I should be confessing that inside me is a vacuum awaiting his soul.

I asked him had he loved before, but did he really know what I wanted to know?

6. Peace in Progress

Manisha Shahane (voice)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Ricardo Monzon (percussion)
Daniel Cantor (drums)
Kevin Barry (guitars)

You don’t know what I’m thinking; I won’t say what is on my mind. So we keep on pretending to be real, while we are telling lies.

We hope that we will find a place of truth, of understanding, far from fear of falling freely. Fly with me, face me, feel me, look me squarely in the eyes, and say that you will stay until the winter’s frost turns to green of spring and bulbs of tulip bloom inside me.

I don’t know what you’ve seen and you won’t paint the images that decorate your mind and trouble you when you’re sleeping. While you’re awake, they are telling lies.

You hope that you will find a place of truth, of understanding, far from fear of falling freely. I’ll fly with you, face you, feel you, look you squarely in the eyes and say that I will stay until the winter’s frost turns to green of spring and bulbs of tulip bloom inside me.

We don’t know why we’re fighting. We won’t pause to inhale what we are saying. Peace in progress counters war. This peace in progress is what we are.

7. Naach Re Mora (Dance Peacock)

Manisha Shahane (voice/harmonium)
Shyam Shahane (tabla)
Daniel Cantor (synth to enhance low drone)

Naach Re Mora is a Marathi children’s song, with lyrics written by the late P.L. Deshpande. Originally sung by Asha Bhosle, it was released with the film, Devbappa, in 1953 and re-released on Asha Bhosle’s album Naach Re Mora (Universal Music India) in 2001.

8. Something in Your Voice

Manisha Shahane (lead and back-up vocals/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Kevin Barry (guitars)
Raj Banerjee (guitar)
Dominique Gagne (flute/back-up vocals)

Midnight fell, but you were not answering. Reluctantly, I put the receiver back down. No concern had I of your whereabouts; I had no doubts—only longing . . . Something in your voice—it soothes, I feel it heals, it comforts me.

Your voice I wish to hear before I sleep, in my dreams. . .upon awakening, I wish to feel the lips through which your voice emanates, hesitates. . .anticipates. Something in your voice—it soothes, I feel it heals, it comforts me.

Breathe and hum with my voice in unison, until you come straight to my heart, where the thump throws you momentarily slightly off-key.
Your voice sets my heart alight, with the “hey, hey, hey,” you’d say, I kept the faith for three fortnights. Hoped to hear again the “hey, hey, hey, hey. . .”

But there was solace in the crashing waves for which my heart and body ached—Another love.
What will I do now that I realize . . .

9. Where the Ocean Greets the Sky

Manisha Shahane (voice/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Matthew Taylor (drums)

Opening and closing Marathi lyrics are slightly modified excerpts sung from the song, Jithe Saagaraa Dharanee Milate, originally sung by Suman Kalyanpur, with lyrics by P. Savalaram and music by Vasant Prabhu. In April 2003, London-based Tanuja Desai Hidier and I collaborated on a musical book reading of her book Born Confused. As I was reading it, I came across a passage during which the heroine’s father reveals that he is praying for a “jeevansaathi”, or life partner, for his daughter, and it revived this memory for me: When I went for a visit to India right out of college, I was worried that it would be an opportunity for everyone to set me up with a “suitable boy”. Yet, no one even tried, to my simultaneous relief and disappointment. However, one of my older relatives asked me about my plans for a life partner. I told him that I hadn’t given it much thought, but I recall to this day how much I liked the way he put it: life partner, he said, rather than something like, “When are you going to find a husband?” Shortly after reading that part of the book, I happened to be listening to a tape I have of old Marathi songs, and one line in particular kept ringing in my ears: “tithe tujhe mee waat pahaate, waat pahaate, jithe saagaraa.” I ended up talking with my mother about the song which tells the story of a woman in love who is waiting for her partner. My mother pointed out that traditionally the horizon is akin to the union of man and woman; we are always looking at it in the distance, thinking we can see it, maybe even reach it. . .and this inspired me to write Where the Ocean Greets the Sky.

<. . .Where I am waiting for you is by the ocean>
Gazing at the sunset, sand between my toes—behind me trails a path of footprints. With every footprint, I am getting closer to where the ocean greets the sky. I see your footprints circling mine, until they fall, we fall into line. With every footprint, we are getting closer to where the ocean greets the sky.

Building a castle—one that’s made of sand; and it’s covered with colored seashells. Every seashell reminds me of a day I’ve waited for you to come and take my hand. I feel your fingers coloring my hair—coloring it with a finely powdered red. Every seashell reminds me of a day I’ve waited for you to come and take my hand.

In the high tide, footprints disappear. The castle melts; seashells swim beside me. The light of the waxing moon guides me to where saltwater mangoes taste of your skin. With every footprint I am getting. . .

With every footprint, I am getting closer to where the ocean greets the sky.

<. . .Where I am waiting for you is by the ocean>

10. Willows

Manisha Shahane (voice/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Kevin Barry (guitars)
Raj Banerjee (guitar)
Dominique Gagne (flute)

Willows formed a swing that carried me far above the trees—carried me far from the world where I’d have to grow up and where I’d have to see football from the sidelines, never a homecoming queen.

Then the willows turned to dogwood, then to cherry blossom trees. And with each step I took from the old Rotunda, the closer I would be to a place where I thought I’d change the world, but instead the world changed me. Now suddenly I find I’ve been fast moving.

So if you want to grow up, if you want to move on, you might just have to find a way without me, because I don’t want to grow up; I just want to slow down. . .

Palm trees lined the edge of where I played in Shivaji Park. Through the middle I would walk home just before the sky turned dark. In the shadows hid the couples; little did they know of what I saw.

Then the palm trees turned to pine in the foothills of vanity—where if you dug down to the core of the earth, you’d find me there standing, thinking I was so infallible, that I’d be saved from all the fighting, but now I realize that I’ve been wounded.

. . .I know of a simple reason I’d like to stay.

11. Love Sheets

11. Love Sheets
Manisha Shahane (lead and back-up vocals/piano)
Blake Newman (acoustic bass)
Jerry Leake (tabla/multi-percussion)
Kevin Barry (guitar)
Raj Banerjee (guitar)
Shirish Shahane (background vocals)
Tabla bol at end of bridge by Jerry.
Off-beat tabla bol effect at the end of song added by Manisha & Dan.

My parents really did receive a gift of orange sheets with the word “love” marked all over them in different colors. We often used these during childhood sleepovers. One day, after I sang this song at the studio, Dan asked me to recall some childhood songs. I hummed a little of this and a little of that, but I kept coming back to Naach Re Mora. I couldn’t remember all the lyrics and so I called my mother, as I always do in such emergencies. My mother, bless her heart, puts up with me on such occasions. Dan saw me trying to write quickly and, to save me some time, he came over with a mic to record her over the phone, so I wouldn’t have to write everything down. While we were mixing Love Sheets, we decided to incorporate some of her singing and explanations, such as “Saat rangi kamaan means rainbow,” because that was how she would teach me songs as I was growing up.

Gold and orange sheets from 1974—a gift that gave for years: slumber parties and secrets sold for gold . . . pillow fights until just the truth was told.

In my love sheets, that’s where, where I’m trying to sleep. In my love sheets, while o’er the fence I’m counting sheep. In my love sheets, that’s when I hear sweet nothings of days, nights, gone by.
Brick with green trim was our house on Carol Court. A home that stood through years of Tupperware parties while Avon’s best ladies sold all the goods that every woman would need.

Pink with frosting was that strawberry Duncan Hines—a taste that flavored years of sprinkler parties and games without a price. Though some kids were sugar, many more were made of spice.

Sweet little nothings in my ear . . . I hear little voices in my head. No stopping, overlapping, I can’t hear what they’re saying. Sweet little nothings in my ear . . . I hear little voices in my head. No stopping, overlapping, I can’t hear what I’m thinking! Sweet little nothings in my ear, I hear little voices in my head, the ants they are crawling at my feet, but soon they will leave me here for dead.
They were gold and orange.

Tracks 2, 8, 10, & 11: Piano/bass/percussion recorded live and engineered by Gill Aharon at Fishlung Studio in Dorchester, MA. Overdubs recorded at Fishlung Studio and Notable Productions.
Tracks 1, 3, 4, 5, & 9: Piano/bass/percussion (+vocals for Track 1) recorded live and engineered by Doug Hammer at Dreamworld Productions in Lynn, MA. Overdubs recorded at Notable Productions.
Track 7: Voice, tabla, and harmonium recorded and engineered by David McDonald at Flat5 Studio in Salem, VA. Synth overdub recorded at Notable Productions.
Track 6 recorded and engineered by Daniel Cantor at Notable Productions.
Artwork: Rahul Sabnis (design), Jessica Hyatt (sketches), Chris Yeager (photography).
Front Cover Dress Design: Cibeline Sariano, Davis Square, Somerville, MA
Legal Counsel: Vinca Liane Jarrett

To the musicians: Not only did you play what the songs asked of you, but you also adorned them with your heartfelt improvisation, for which I am grateful beyond words. Special thanks to Dan and Kevin for their guidance on the transition from chorus to verse in Peace in Progress and to Gill and Dominique for the descending flute lines during the instrumental section of Willows.
To everyone else: Thanks for your love, patience, support and encouragement.
This album is dedicated to the late Susheela Dattatreya Shahane, who was better known as Aai, Aaji, and Tara Bai.
Copyright 2003, Manisha Shahane. P.O. Box 391753, Cambridge, MA 02139 (www.manishamusic.com) Made in U.S.A. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Music and lyrics by Manisha Shahane, unless otherwise noted. Produced by Daniel Cantor and Manisha Shahane at Notable Productions in Watertown, MA (www.notable.com).